A.K.

Bond. When you touch on topics you desperately want to get heavily into. Usually no one is around to discuss it w/you. All these gems in your head but when you make that call, the voicemail greets you. That attachment you find yourself yearning is all because of the conversation you were able to connect w/. FINALLY. Someone that thinks very similar like you. Yet provide few words that bring you to question the direction you're going in life.

That's whom I would like to spend my time w/. Someone who will test me & challenge me respectfully. Ask me things that make me stop & actually ponder for more than a few seconds. As much as I thought I was sharing about myself, you want to know what he asked me?

"Why are you distant?"

"Distant? What do you mean?" I was confused because here I thought I was letting him into my psyche.

He asked again.

"I don't think I'm being distant. I mean."

I thought about it.

I was. I was speaking in general. My thoughts, my way of living, without actually giving myself away. It's part of my defense mechanism that I spoke about not too long ago. I am more aware of those entering my life & I am cautious to ask the reasons why. What their intentions are. & if I'm not sure, then I make my own aim that guides action towards them known before I give them a chance to decide.

I know he means well. Well. I want to believe he does.