Miscreant

The last half of this year has shown me just how damaging the actions of my past can be. It's allowed me to look directly at myself & put forth the effort necessary to right the wrongs of said actions. The work that I have put in to not only acknowledge & bare with the ugly I'm capable of, but to commit to an improvement of myself has not been easy. Or simple, to say the least. Many people can't seem to forget who you once were or what you once did. & in their minds, you'll always be that wrongdoer. They'll never know what you were really feeling or thinking regardless of how long (or short) ago though. See, they will judge you based on your actions. & I suppose, in today's world, that really matters since so many rather post their most current status for strangers abroad instead of showing their inner circle what they're truly dealing with.

& if they are anything like me, they persevere.

I (still) know what I deserve. I know what I have been through. I have the ability to magnify the areas in which I have been incompetent as well as the strength to do right by me. (I still come first). & I will not allow anyone to remind me of what I have worked so hard to forgive myself for, in order to move forward righteously. Though I realize those I've hurt could never fail to overlook what I've done, neither can I. & what I will do, is better (& Universe knows I have). I cannot continue allowing myself to stand in my own way by constantly thinking about what I could have done differently. Instead, I will continue focusing on my knowledge, progress & success. After all, even when the best you comes forth, it won't be enough & there will be someone close to you that will remind you of those things you did. Those things you said. & I will not let that bring me down. I've changed & will continue to evolve. & they can be blind to it for all I care, 'cause eye know.

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