Ted Talks
Fucking hate my anxiety. Fucking hate it.
Be feeling so fucking weak.
"I'm fuckin' worthless" is a reoccurring thought I have while being sad as fuck. Can't even be asked how I'm doing without my depression z snappin' its way into my being. God help me. So much shit triggers me. So much shit is wrong with me. So much so much so much. It's really no wonder why in my head, I'm negative. & this shit isn't every day. It isn't all the fucking time. It comes & goes. Has a mind of its own.
I'm trying. I really am fucking trying.
Doesn't fucking mean I'm not going hard out here.
Doesn't fucking mean I'm not doing enough.
But just sometimes. Just sometimes it's really hard for me. & I'm allowed to have these feelings. I really am.
I just need love. I have always just needed love. It's why that's all I have to give.
Even when people don't deserve it.
Because I KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE!!!!! for people to not give a fuck. I am incapable of treating anyone like I don't give a fuck.
Why continue the awful cycle that people are used to, when I can show them better?
Ima always give a fuck. I AM THAT BALANCE!!!!!!! Ima always be real about my goddamn emotions.
But you best believe that I am just as tired.
Tired of crying. Tired of migraines. Tired of being left alone when I'm just too fucking much.
But I'm trying. Don't you take that from me.
& I can't even begin to tell you how tired I am of people priding themselves off not giving a fuck.
Of money over bitches all day. (insert 100 emoji)
You feel just like I do. Give a fuck how much you fake it out here. That's something I just can't do.
If I smile, that's some genuine shit.
Miss me with that "fake it til you make it' shit.
I am unlike anyone else on this goddamn galaxy.
I will be myself because that is all I know how to be.
But I gotta understand that there are so many of you that truly won't make time. You really don't care.
& instead of it affecting my heart the way that it does, I just gotta keep moving forward.
Loving, with a twisted sense of humor.
That's how I uplift. Not gonna tell you that what you are feeling is wrong.
Not gonna tell you that you have no right to feel how you do.
Word to Green Mile, man. Ima BE all right!
I'm just not as strong as I thought, but ima BE fine!
*Just envisioned myself doing a tedtalks segment. That audience better be ready.
Be feeling so fucking weak.
"I'm fuckin' worthless" is a reoccurring thought I have while being sad as fuck. Can't even be asked how I'm doing without my depression z snappin' its way into my being. God help me. So much shit triggers me. So much shit is wrong with me. So much so much so much. It's really no wonder why in my head, I'm negative. & this shit isn't every day. It isn't all the fucking time. It comes & goes. Has a mind of its own.
I'm trying. I really am fucking trying.
Doesn't fucking mean I'm not going hard out here.
Doesn't fucking mean I'm not doing enough.
But just sometimes. Just sometimes it's really hard for me. & I'm allowed to have these feelings. I really am.
I just need love. I have always just needed love. It's why that's all I have to give.
Even when people don't deserve it.
Because I KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE!!!!! for people to not give a fuck. I am incapable of treating anyone like I don't give a fuck.
Why continue the awful cycle that people are used to, when I can show them better?
Ima always give a fuck. I AM THAT BALANCE!!!!!!! Ima always be real about my goddamn emotions.
But you best believe that I am just as tired.
Tired of crying. Tired of migraines. Tired of being left alone when I'm just too fucking much.
But I'm trying. Don't you take that from me.
& I can't even begin to tell you how tired I am of people priding themselves off not giving a fuck.
Of money over bitches all day. (insert 100 emoji)
You feel just like I do. Give a fuck how much you fake it out here. That's something I just can't do.
If I smile, that's some genuine shit.
Miss me with that "fake it til you make it' shit.
I am unlike anyone else on this goddamn galaxy.
I will be myself because that is all I know how to be.
But I gotta understand that there are so many of you that truly won't make time. You really don't care.
& instead of it affecting my heart the way that it does, I just gotta keep moving forward.
Loving, with a twisted sense of humor.
That's how I uplift. Not gonna tell you that what you are feeling is wrong.
Not gonna tell you that you have no right to feel how you do.
Word to Green Mile, man. Ima BE all right!
I'm just not as strong as I thought, but ima BE fine!
*Just envisioned myself doing a tedtalks segment. That audience better be ready.
