Hope Has A Voice

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(Remember Us For The Good Times)

Finally, the one I was waiting for to read it, did. My beautiful mother.
She contacted me this morning along with this picture via a text message that read: 

Just read my life through your ripped skin & betrayed heart! Thank you for not giving up on me, like I did once for you. I LOVE you very much! Remembering only the good times in my life always, has made me the way I am...I'm so proud of the wonderful woman you have become! 😘

I had just woken up for the second time this morning when I read this & it sparked my spirit. I am forever thankful for her. I decided to share this message to four people whom have a special place in my heart. Whom KNOW me & at times, better than I know myself. It's great to have people you can share something with without them questioning the reason why you are sharing. It's important to surround yourselves with people whom will just let you be.
I did get asked [by the one & only Ro (of course)] one thing though.. 

How u feel?

Me being me, she should have called me to say that. Not text me. But this is her. & I have learned time & time again what a waste of MY time it is to change someone whom is content with how they do things. I would pick up the phone to talk to Andrew if I couldn't see him right away. Not send a text. This is one of the many differences as a mother, my mother & I have.

But it has MUCH to do with strength.I have enough compassion to understand this. She is not me & that's where Respect comes into play. Respecting the differences & just Love. If I was anyone else, I would have found a problem with how it's just a text. But I know what I am capable of. & my words beat her up some. So this was major. If that's all she has the strength to do FOR NOW? I will take it & rejoice that she, like me, sees the good in things. Our difference is that I have no problem confronting the bad. I'm strong enough to.

I love her more now than I ever have in my life. Considering what she put me through, that is amazing. I felt at one point HATE towards her. I cannot fathom that happening again. Even if she does the unspeakable.

I will never be a monster. That is not my purpose.

I am supposed to heal just as much as heal others. I am supposed to find understanding amidst the chaos. I am supposed to help others do this. So they discover their very OWN unique power they have within themselves. That's why I went through what I went through. ALL of the pain I held onto for so long was meant for me & only me. No one else could have gone through that then present themselves as a respectful woman that many admire. Rightfully so, might I add. No ego.

Simply, I worked hard for this. In my own mind without anyone's guidance. I did it. This is Redemption (thank you, Rikki).

I realized the many people that destroyed the creative that I was born as, weren't to blame. For they, too, had their own people destroy the creative & youthful, vigorous spirit. It's not up to me or them to continue that cycle.

Now as I confidently express who I am, unapologetic doesn't even begin to describe me. This life is amazing. To rediscover whom you once were. Surrounded by people who truly love me. & care for me. I am so blessed.

I wouldn't be as strong as I am without my mother: a Queen. & without my father. Someone I have never met.