The Animus

"One may suddenly find oneself up against something in a woman that is obstinate, cold, & completely inaccessible.

"In this form the animus personifies all those semiconscious, cold, destructive reflections that invade a woman in the small hours, especially when she has failed to realize some obligation of feeling. It is then that she begins to think about the family heritage & matters of that kind - a sort of web of calculating thoughts, filled with .... intrigue....

" A strange passivity & paralysis of all feeling, or a deep insecurity that can lead almost to a sense of nullity, may sometimes be the result of an unconscious animus opinion. In the depths of the woman's being, the animus whispers: "You are hopeless. What's the use of trying? There is no point in doing anything. Life will never change for the better.:"

"Unfortunately, whenever one of these personifications of the unconscious takes possession of our mind, it seems as if we ourselves are having such thoughts & feelings.The ego identifies with them to the point where it is unable to detach them & see them for what they are. One is really "possessed" by the figure from the unconscious. Only after the possession has fallen away does one realize with horror that one has said & done things diametrically opposed to one's real thoughts & feelings - that one has been the prey of an alien psychic factor.

"Like the anima, the animus does not merely consist of negative qualities such as brutality, recklessness, empty talk & silent, obstinate, evil ideas. He too has a very positive & valuable side; he too can build a bridge to the Self through his creative activity.

"The parallel in life is that the conscious attention a woman has to give to her animus problem takes much time & involves a lot of suffering. But if she realizes who & what her animus is & what he does to her, & if she faces these realities instead of allowing herself to be possessed, her animus can turn into an invaluable inner companion who endows her with the masculine qualities of initiative, courage, objectivity, & spiritual wisdom.

"The animus in his most developed form sometimes connects the woman's mind with the spiritual evolution of her age, & can thereby make her even more receptive than a man to new creative ideas.

"The creative boldness of their positive animus at times expresses thoughts & ideas that stimulate men to new enterprises.

".. the positive side of the animus can personify an enterprising spirit, courage, truthfulness, & in the highest form, spiritual profundity."- Carl G. Jung, Man & His Symbols

Most of my life, I did my ultimate best in many different tasks & it was never enough for my parents (whom were always the ones that mattered to me as I was growing up). I feel as though since my best was never enough, why try any more. Every single interest of mine has been shut down by not one but both of my parents. Hearing constantly what a waste of time they were, really stayed with me. & this wasn't just some days, weeks, or months. This was YEARS. Because, I was like a chameleon with my changes. I would just stop doing something & would master another, only to hear the same, exact thing from them. But I have learned to no longer do for them. To stop trying to make THEM proud.

Letting go of that hurt, that pressure that they put me through has not been easy but I understand a bit better now. So I finally realized I have nothing left to lose since Time has been more of a victim than I ever was, so why not just do for me. Make myself proud. I am restoring my worth that my parents never praised me for.

Fortunately, I have met a handful of individuals in the last year alone as well as credit others that have been there for me longer than that, & they have all given me such a tremendous amount of motivation. I always knew, within myself, about the extensive reconditioning I have been undergoing. But a huge part of this process has been excruciatingly gradual & that was due to my lack of confidence. For myself & in myself.

I have been experiencing what my positivity has been working on even when what I would say was the opposite of what I was feeling. "Happy feet; one step at a time," my friend Allison said to me, today. She couldn't be more right about that.

The best thing about loving the man of my reality is that He is truly the man of my dreams.

"Now her dream tells her in the most earnest way that she must live out her talent. If she obeys, the destructive, tormenting animus will be transformed into a creative & meaningful activity." -Carl G. Jung