April 14, 2014 11:10 PM
.... like my pattern, I just move on. It would be wasted time to dwell on anyone or anything. It's just how my mind works.
.... I just deleted everything. Perhaps if I was successful or my goals were being met then I would hold those &/or things more dearly to me. But us reaching our end just magnifies that I, as an individual am just not there yet. There being where I want to be.
There are many reasons why I'm still without someone I can trust with my all & one of them being that I don't make the effort to make a union last. I don't wait for three strikes for me to be out of there. I really am gone after the first. I just can't help but to make myself a priority. Myself including Andrew because he is indeed part of me. This distance between us is frustrating on its own.
.... & to realize that we are still so very fresh, I did not see any light in our future. & because I go by how I feel (which I mentioned is extreme), I trusted myself to be stronger & just walk away from it all.
You don't have to deal with me & my baggage even if you & I both know that you're strong enough to.
I do love you. I love(d) many parts of you....
There are so many forms of love & appreciation that fail to be expressed because ' I love you' seems to mean one thing to many. But I am not many. I am me. & I don't try to be different, I promise, I just am. My beliefs have never really matched with anyone else's & I'm okay with that. I'm still learning, still working on myself & that won't ever be enough.
I am sorry.
I am sorry that I'm still cold.
.... I just deleted everything. Perhaps if I was successful or my goals were being met then I would hold those &/or things more dearly to me. But us reaching our end just magnifies that I, as an individual am just not there yet. There being where I want to be.
There are many reasons why I'm still without someone I can trust with my all & one of them being that I don't make the effort to make a union last. I don't wait for three strikes for me to be out of there. I really am gone after the first. I just can't help but to make myself a priority. Myself including Andrew because he is indeed part of me. This distance between us is frustrating on its own.
.... & to realize that we are still so very fresh, I did not see any light in our future. & because I go by how I feel (which I mentioned is extreme), I trusted myself to be stronger & just walk away from it all.
You don't have to deal with me & my baggage even if you & I both know that you're strong enough to.
I do love you. I love(d) many parts of you....
There are so many forms of love & appreciation that fail to be expressed because ' I love you' seems to mean one thing to many. But I am not many. I am me. & I don't try to be different, I promise, I just am. My beliefs have never really matched with anyone else's & I'm okay with that. I'm still learning, still working on myself & that won't ever be enough.
I am sorry.
I am sorry that I'm still cold.
