fuck i'm doing talkin' about pineal gland
I was asked what makes me happy. "Knowing I helped another makes me happy," was my response.
"What else?"
I was stumped. I honestly couldn't think of anything else that makes me happy! So I went to sleep thinking of (my) bliss.
I woke up FEELING happy. I woke up reminiscing on what I dreamt. It was of my Ma Lupe. It was a sunny day & I was walking along a street. I happened to look up towards my left & instantly got ahold of my great grandmother's face. She was leaning towards her left, conversing w/someone. She looked engaged. Happy. & seeing her fulfilled me. I was joyful.
She's been dead for years now & never once had I dreamed of her until this morning. I find this extraordinary.
Hoping she visits me more often. Or that I can visit her again.
***
Family makes me happy. It's why I left the home I was raised in weeks before my high school graduation. In order to grow w/a real family. Not what I was exposed to prior to meeting the love of my life.
A few weeks ago, my step-mother found slight humor when she realized how small MY family was. When she mentioned it, I thought of just Andrew & myself. But she actually included, my mom & her two sons. I let her chuckle & didn't add my two cents.
The very same thing that brings me happiness is what brings me down nowadays.
"What else?"
I was stumped. I honestly couldn't think of anything else that makes me happy! So I went to sleep thinking of (my) bliss.
I woke up FEELING happy. I woke up reminiscing on what I dreamt. It was of my Ma Lupe. It was a sunny day & I was walking along a street. I happened to look up towards my left & instantly got ahold of my great grandmother's face. She was leaning towards her left, conversing w/someone. She looked engaged. Happy. & seeing her fulfilled me. I was joyful.
She's been dead for years now & never once had I dreamed of her until this morning. I find this extraordinary.
Hoping she visits me more often. Or that I can visit her again.
***
Family makes me happy. It's why I left the home I was raised in weeks before my high school graduation. In order to grow w/a real family. Not what I was exposed to prior to meeting the love of my life.
A few weeks ago, my step-mother found slight humor when she realized how small MY family was. When she mentioned it, I thought of just Andrew & myself. But she actually included, my mom & her two sons. I let her chuckle & didn't add my two cents.
The very same thing that brings me happiness is what brings me down nowadays.
