Sui Jeneris
Randomssss.
I am so thankful for myself. I have been living. That's saying more than what a lot of accomplishments by others weigh. I'm on the right track. Learning, learning, learning. I won't stop.
I've said before that nothing pleases me more than believing in something w/ALL of my being for YEARS.. all to no longer believe & have it replaced w/a new plan. Everything I know at this very moment can be taught to another & be wrong. Thin line between contradiction & being genuinely focused on the duty I have to myself. Which is knowing who I am & where I am.
I'm incredibly thankful for information. For words that others use that I was unable to form on my own that describe how I have been living. Things are starting to make a lot more sense now. & again, I'm thankful for myself & not giving up. Especially lately....
My duty is not to teach you. But to teach myself. After all, a lesson you may have learned from me, just very well may have helped me further understand my purpose.
For years now, people of all ages have been trying to lead me & I continue to create new paths. Unless I am there, experiencing, it won't mean a thing to me. Grateful for the attachments I have made. I also understand why so many are no longer part of my journey.
I could never be a puppet. & all who thirst for control have always been against me. & they pray on my downfall.
I'm still here.
& I'm not done.
Even during my highest self esteem day, I may have underestimated myself.
Been telling myself I require more discipline before learning that I need to begin living strictly.
I feel I have a mind in which can be manipulated easily. & because of that, I am now able to tell apart the bullshit from what's closest to real. I continue to make mistakes & accepting the lessons. I am proud of myself for accepting the consequences that I deserve.
Because of all of these different beliefs, I often question if I am truly wrong for judging another as I clearly, have surpassed them. In one way or another. (Those ways being unpopular to the masses).
Lifetimes, reincarnation.. I'm starting to not want to emerge onto the next life. Starting to think I don't have one. That this form I currently occupy is my last chance. That I must figure it all out.
I wonder how much of my subconscious helped me & continues to help me in being a mother. In the nurturing department. Ooh.
The One.
I am so thankful for myself. I have been living. That's saying more than what a lot of accomplishments by others weigh. I'm on the right track. Learning, learning, learning. I won't stop.
I've said before that nothing pleases me more than believing in something w/ALL of my being for YEARS.. all to no longer believe & have it replaced w/a new plan. Everything I know at this very moment can be taught to another & be wrong. Thin line between contradiction & being genuinely focused on the duty I have to myself. Which is knowing who I am & where I am.
I'm incredibly thankful for information. For words that others use that I was unable to form on my own that describe how I have been living. Things are starting to make a lot more sense now. & again, I'm thankful for myself & not giving up. Especially lately....
My duty is not to teach you. But to teach myself. After all, a lesson you may have learned from me, just very well may have helped me further understand my purpose.
For years now, people of all ages have been trying to lead me & I continue to create new paths. Unless I am there, experiencing, it won't mean a thing to me. Grateful for the attachments I have made. I also understand why so many are no longer part of my journey.
I could never be a puppet. & all who thirst for control have always been against me. & they pray on my downfall.
I'm still here.
& I'm not done.
Even during my highest self esteem day, I may have underestimated myself.
Been telling myself I require more discipline before learning that I need to begin living strictly.
I feel I have a mind in which can be manipulated easily. & because of that, I am now able to tell apart the bullshit from what's closest to real. I continue to make mistakes & accepting the lessons. I am proud of myself for accepting the consequences that I deserve.
Because of all of these different beliefs, I often question if I am truly wrong for judging another as I clearly, have surpassed them. In one way or another. (Those ways being unpopular to the masses).
Lifetimes, reincarnation.. I'm starting to not want to emerge onto the next life. Starting to think I don't have one. That this form I currently occupy is my last chance. That I must figure it all out.
I wonder how much of my subconscious helped me & continues to help me in being a mother. In the nurturing department. Ooh.
The One.
