(r)ant

My family continues reassuring me how much I don't need them. & that shit breaks my heart over & over again. I guess because I'm deserving of a family. (Thoughts of my very own becoming a failure haunt me). I should have their support, if not their respect. It's funny (it's not), sometimes I feel they're ashamed of me. I'm like a bad movie w/an amazing review. Everyone thought I'd amount to something amazing & instead, I'm a tragic movie w/an extremely slow plot. People watching just waiting to see if they should even stick around for the rest. ha! I guess that's why my relationships [boyfriend(s), family, friends & the ex-husband] never lasted as long as I thought. I must be something like a season. I want them though (a family). Just wished they loved me as much as I love them.

& IF! they do, why won't they express it? Why show me the opposite? Sigh. I'm done. Be well, You.