Falling Sun
*Shouts to Ryshon Jones.
".. he 'on't know what lovin' means."
It's a give & take. A relationship. Any relationship. Even a reacquainted one.
I can be a bitch. But because of the love I have for him, I can't just talk shit to him. Tell him he's a piece of shit for not treating me right. I mean, I'd be treating him like shit to let him know he's treating me like shit. Brutal, senseless cycle. I don't want to be sincere either. Show him tears. Why would it take one of my breakdowns for him to get it together? To remind himself that I am worthy. That I do deserve it all & everything else that hasn't been discovered yet.
It's a give & take. A relationship. Any relationship. Even a reacquainted one.
I reserve the right to be selfish. Because I am one of the most selfless individuals you will ever meet, if ever. Sometimes, I just don't have it in me. I reach out when I need you the most. Then you talk down to me? I tried so hard to block that out. But after tonight, I couldn't let it go. Again, my efforts go unnoticed. So then I put MORE effort in to tell YOU what I need. Then you tell me what I wish you would have said before I even said anything. So then it doesn't even count. Psh. Women, right?
It's a give & take. A relationship. Any relationship. Even a reacquainted one.
Another lesson learned. Another reminder that at the end of the day I just have myself. I mean I did tonight, for me. Not for you. I've been wanting to do something like tonight long before I met you. & I finally went out & kicked ass. All I could think about was you. Like I wish he could see me right now. Flourishing. I really pushed myself. I felt like the night I found out I passed my class w/an A after eight years w/o school. Alone.
I can only give & not take. In a relationship. In any relationship. Even a reacquainted one.
So then when we discuss things, you remind me of what I'm not doing. So now, not only am I feeling like a loser when I won first place, but now I gotta take notes on how to do right by you, too. Drained, man. Just drained. I don't know if I was ever ready for this. Of all the struggles I'm currently going through, you shouldn't be one of them.
".. he 'on't know what lovin' means."
It's a give & take. A relationship. Any relationship. Even a reacquainted one.
I can be a bitch. But because of the love I have for him, I can't just talk shit to him. Tell him he's a piece of shit for not treating me right. I mean, I'd be treating him like shit to let him know he's treating me like shit. Brutal, senseless cycle. I don't want to be sincere either. Show him tears. Why would it take one of my breakdowns for him to get it together? To remind himself that I am worthy. That I do deserve it all & everything else that hasn't been discovered yet.
It's a give & take. A relationship. Any relationship. Even a reacquainted one.
I reserve the right to be selfish. Because I am one of the most selfless individuals you will ever meet, if ever. Sometimes, I just don't have it in me. I reach out when I need you the most. Then you talk down to me? I tried so hard to block that out. But after tonight, I couldn't let it go. Again, my efforts go unnoticed. So then I put MORE effort in to tell YOU what I need. Then you tell me what I wish you would have said before I even said anything. So then it doesn't even count. Psh. Women, right?
It's a give & take. A relationship. Any relationship. Even a reacquainted one.
Another lesson learned. Another reminder that at the end of the day I just have myself. I mean I did tonight, for me. Not for you. I've been wanting to do something like tonight long before I met you. & I finally went out & kicked ass. All I could think about was you. Like I wish he could see me right now. Flourishing. I really pushed myself. I felt like the night I found out I passed my class w/an A after eight years w/o school. Alone.
I can only give & not take. In a relationship. In any relationship. Even a reacquainted one.
So then when we discuss things, you remind me of what I'm not doing. So now, not only am I feeling like a loser when I won first place, but now I gotta take notes on how to do right by you, too. Drained, man. Just drained. I don't know if I was ever ready for this. Of all the struggles I'm currently going through, you shouldn't be one of them.
-wondering what it's like to just take.
