MaMa's Back
First off. Shouts to j*DaVeY & that New Designer Drug project.
Second. I will be adding a picture to this post so come back next week to check for it, lol.
Third. Or not.
Fourth. Let's go.
I haven't seen my seed in over two weeks. & I won't be seeing him until Sunday night. With that being said, I've had one hell of a time. Read me carefully. A HELL of a time. I have not been happy. I have been angry. Confused. Remorseful. Just. Not myself. It's been really, Really hard. I mean, REALLY. So after clocking out on Friday, which is my Wednesday. Yesterday. I thought I'd share a few gems I've been holding onto. & hey. The only bill that my brother had for the month, isn't paid. Internet. So while I was w/o wifi I almost killed myself. But I slept instead. Then I tried reaching out to someone a few times & failed. But ended up having a humble & motivating convo w/Donny. That really made my night. Moving forward.
Today, I finally watched Avatar. (can't believe I'm sending this fckin post via iPhone. Don't lose focus, let's go..) Yes, finally. & God was it worth the wait. I gotta say. For genuine souls, I know they appreciated this. I felt it. In all honesty (read: corny as fck), this movie embodied me. What I'm about. I wanted to watch it w/him. But for the first time, I wasn't thinking of anyone else but myself while I enjoyed this movie. So HE didn't come to mind until he reached out.
*sigh* He really is ReFRESHing. I'm addicted to the 0.01% of his mind he's shared w/me. I know a lot of it is dark but w/my light, I won't get lost. I'm happy I expressed myself & didn't go overboard. I simply shared w/him, enough. Time will tell. & as I've mentioned before in this baby of mine, but about someone else, LOL I AIN'T SHIT THO, he's got his things going on & mine are being set in motion. So. I'm good.
Avatar. That film, man. MOVING to say the least. That warrior spirit. Reminded me of me. I've had no help. & halfway through the movie, my own mother reached out! & it was one of the realest conversations I've ever had w/her. EVER. Course I had to pause the movie. She actually acknowledges my success thus far. See, I was giving her a peptalk. Don't give up, etc,. Daughter. Giving her Mother a motivational speech. Then she says, "& best of all, no one has helped you." Wow. I mean, wow. Really. I couldn't believe that she knows. I mean, ALL mothers know. But. I mean, you know!? So anyway, I thought. As a dreamer, how do I go back to it. Going towards my dreams. Grabbing my goals & putting 'em first.
Avatar. They just want to live. Leave em alone. A lot like the machine(s) behind this country. Other lands hold something they want, that they can turn into money. & if they don't cooperate, they take it. Wipe em out before they can think twice, then rewrite the history. No one will know if no one survives.
Dreamwalkers. Will they truly last against Greed? "It's hard to fill a cup that's already full." All for the money. PAPER. When if you REALLY think about it, if it was wiped out, the currency. & we all just helped each other w/our resources. What a world. I know us giving beings try to help. "We will see if your insanity can be cured." Insane to kill for wants. For desires. "All energy is only borrowed & one day you have to give it back." I've always believed this. Especially since I continue giving w/o expecting &/or receiving anything in return.
This year alone for me has made me open up to myself. Through others' creativity, I have been able to GAIN. I'll name these special beings now:
The scene where he becomes a man. & they all touch him. I want that. That energy. I need it. Not for greed. But because I give so much. Then I'm forgotten. At least that's how I feel most of the time. Jenn needs to be replenished. Then again. Maybe I just feel drained. For a moment. Because someone will reach out & there I go providing again. Ahh. I don't know.
The sound of children. Before they share a kiss. My boy.
Second. I will be adding a picture to this post so come back next week to check for it, lol.
Third. Or not.
IT'S JAN 9TH & THIS IS THE PICTURE.
LOL, that is all that I have added to this post.
Fourth. Let's go.
I haven't seen my seed in over two weeks. & I won't be seeing him until Sunday night. With that being said, I've had one hell of a time. Read me carefully. A HELL of a time. I have not been happy. I have been angry. Confused. Remorseful. Just. Not myself. It's been really, Really hard. I mean, REALLY. So after clocking out on Friday, which is my Wednesday. Yesterday. I thought I'd share a few gems I've been holding onto. & hey. The only bill that my brother had for the month, isn't paid. Internet. So while I was w/o wifi I almost killed myself. But I slept instead. Then I tried reaching out to someone a few times & failed. But ended up having a humble & motivating convo w/Donny. That really made my night. Moving forward.
Today, I finally watched Avatar. (can't believe I'm sending this fckin post via iPhone. Don't lose focus, let's go..) Yes, finally. & God was it worth the wait. I gotta say. For genuine souls, I know they appreciated this. I felt it. In all honesty (read: corny as fck), this movie embodied me. What I'm about. I wanted to watch it w/him. But for the first time, I wasn't thinking of anyone else but myself while I enjoyed this movie. So HE didn't come to mind until he reached out.
*sigh* He really is ReFRESHing. I'm addicted to the 0.01% of his mind he's shared w/me. I know a lot of it is dark but w/my light, I won't get lost. I'm happy I expressed myself & didn't go overboard. I simply shared w/him, enough. Time will tell. & as I've mentioned before in this baby of mine, but about someone else, LOL I AIN'T SHIT THO, he's got his things going on & mine are being set in motion. So. I'm good.
Avatar. That film, man. MOVING to say the least. That warrior spirit. Reminded me of me. I've had no help. & halfway through the movie, my own mother reached out! & it was one of the realest conversations I've ever had w/her. EVER. Course I had to pause the movie. She actually acknowledges my success thus far. See, I was giving her a peptalk. Don't give up, etc,. Daughter. Giving her Mother a motivational speech. Then she says, "& best of all, no one has helped you." Wow. I mean, wow. Really. I couldn't believe that she knows. I mean, ALL mothers know. But. I mean, you know!? So anyway, I thought. As a dreamer, how do I go back to it. Going towards my dreams. Grabbing my goals & putting 'em first.
Avatar. They just want to live. Leave em alone. A lot like the machine(s) behind this country. Other lands hold something they want, that they can turn into money. & if they don't cooperate, they take it. Wipe em out before they can think twice, then rewrite the history. No one will know if no one survives.
Dreamwalkers. Will they truly last against Greed? "It's hard to fill a cup that's already full." All for the money. PAPER. When if you REALLY think about it, if it was wiped out, the currency. & we all just helped each other w/our resources. What a world. I know us giving beings try to help. "We will see if your insanity can be cured." Insane to kill for wants. For desires. "All energy is only borrowed & one day you have to give it back." I've always believed this. Especially since I continue giving w/o expecting &/or receiving anything in return.
This year alone for me has made me open up to myself. Through others' creativity, I have been able to GAIN. I'll name these special beings now:
- Jerome Dickens
- Jay
- Gatsby
- Tekoa
- Cornel
- SamO
- Jay
- Karina
- JoVonna Rodriguez
- Wallace
- Rasheed
- Troy
- bananaclipse
- Jasmine
- Ernest Estime
The scene where he becomes a man. & they all touch him. I want that. That energy. I need it. Not for greed. But because I give so much. Then I'm forgotten. At least that's how I feel most of the time. Jenn needs to be replenished. Then again. Maybe I just feel drained. For a moment. Because someone will reach out & there I go providing again. Ahh. I don't know.
The sound of children. Before they share a kiss. My boy.
"I was a warrior who dreamed he could bring peace.
Sooner or later you have to wake up."
Indeed.
