Unplanned Reality Check
I was told I hold grudges today but until you've gone through what I've gone through & felt what I've felt, you shouldn't judge me.
We all have our issues.
& another thing about me. When I'm passionate about something such as, expressing myself, I speak at a higher volume. It doesn't mean I'm angry at you, it doesn't mean I'm attacking you or that I'm trying to make you feel inferior in any way whatsoever. IT'S HOW I TALK. I'm not even as loud as Samuel L. Jackson. Don't curse as much either. But it's a part of who I am. I'm not going to change that. I love that part of myself.
But my brother has always felt like I need to tone it down. & when I don't, because I can't, he gets an attitude which makes me not want to speak to him anymore. He begins to speak to me in a condescending manner even as I'm trying to explain myself. Then when I shut down, he says things like, "Are you done? Figures."
jkegrqo3uiy34hgs;nkds!!!!!!!
The reason why I don't even know my own brother even though we live together? Because of our communication. Or lack thereof. Thanks to our family, I've chosen to not continue their ways & I really put an effort in opening lines of communication. With anyone. I am very straightforward. But when I feel cornered, all that shit is thrown out the window & I don't want to let anyone into my thoughts. Then I want to run away. Figuratively & literally. Leave anyone who is making me feel captive before they abandon me.
I care too much.
I tried to talk things out. I even shined light on why we aren't as close as we should be. As he's trying to tell me to speak lower, instead of just listening to me, I said, "This is why we don't talk to each other. This is why we have communication issues. Because you don't want to accept me. How I verbalize." & he agreed & shrugged.
He doesn't care as much.
Another reality check. Unplanned.
Moving forward.
Thank you, Anthony.
We all have our issues.
& another thing about me. When I'm passionate about something such as, expressing myself, I speak at a higher volume. It doesn't mean I'm angry at you, it doesn't mean I'm attacking you or that I'm trying to make you feel inferior in any way whatsoever. IT'S HOW I TALK. I'm not even as loud as Samuel L. Jackson. Don't curse as much either. But it's a part of who I am. I'm not going to change that. I love that part of myself.
But my brother has always felt like I need to tone it down. & when I don't, because I can't, he gets an attitude which makes me not want to speak to him anymore. He begins to speak to me in a condescending manner even as I'm trying to explain myself. Then when I shut down, he says things like, "Are you done? Figures."
jkegrqo3uiy34hgs;nkds!!!!!!!
The reason why I don't even know my own brother even though we live together? Because of our communication. Or lack thereof. Thanks to our family, I've chosen to not continue their ways & I really put an effort in opening lines of communication. With anyone. I am very straightforward. But when I feel cornered, all that shit is thrown out the window & I don't want to let anyone into my thoughts. Then I want to run away. Figuratively & literally. Leave anyone who is making me feel captive before they abandon me.
I care too much.
I tried to talk things out. I even shined light on why we aren't as close as we should be. As he's trying to tell me to speak lower, instead of just listening to me, I said, "This is why we don't talk to each other. This is why we have communication issues. Because you don't want to accept me. How I verbalize." & he agreed & shrugged.
He doesn't care as much.
Another reality check. Unplanned.
Moving forward.
Thank you, Anthony.
