you did it for my smile
I thought about us. Again. When we were good, we were so good. In sync. I cared about him, you cared about him. Us. Four. Man, I know we had somethin'. I know. You felt it too, you asshole! lol. Damn. Maybe I did lo-
[sigh]
Maybe it should just be in the past. You got things going & I'm still tryin' to get started. Used to think I was ahead of the fckin' game. Swear I sounded like a teenager, lol. I couldn't be any more wrong. I got so much to learn.
I think that's where I lost my way. Thinking I knew it all & not taking any advice or wise words from anyone. I think I'll be more on track if I just commence to be open minded again. I really lost myself. & I remember saying that the only way you would be able to find someone better than me, is to let go of your pain. If I could have followed that advice..... well. Who knows, right? I just know in the most troublesome times, all I longed for was you. Every time I cried, I just wanted to call you. S***** you. See those eyes. & the countless expressions on your face that I cherish. But seriously. The state I'm in, I feel that I relate the most w/you THEN. I mean, I don't know you now. Even if not much has changed. It's been a few months. (Well, more than a few..) A lot has happened. Maybe something's going on now. *laughs* I remember no matter what I was going through, seeing you would make all the pain go away. Perhaps, that's why I drove the distance. Twice. Or whatever, lol.
Then I remember how you wouldn't do the same for me. & I only say that because that's what came out of your mouth. That might have been the first time my heart broke; w/you.
Never mind that pain though. & that could be my naivety talkin' but I just really miss you.
We really are just extremely different. Strong minded people, sure but. So different.
*shrugs* can't win em all though right? & sacrifice builds character. Or some shit like that.
"I'll be here in your new beginnings. & I'll be here in the end."
I'm sorry I lied. I'm sorry I gave up. I'm sorry I left you.
Wild, Jenn. WILD!!!! *laughs* I remember once you became a part of my life, I began to stay up for you. I would be exhausted! But still, I would stay up all night for you. Little do you know, I'm up now for you. Just......
I am gonna try my very best to not hate my life in the morning & when I enter the workplace.
I'm sure I'll wake up thinking why the fuck did I post this.
But I never read these until weeks later anyway so, fuck it.
Reminiscing about you. Yeah, you right. Goodnight.
[sigh]
Maybe it should just be in the past. You got things going & I'm still tryin' to get started. Used to think I was ahead of the fckin' game. Swear I sounded like a teenager, lol. I couldn't be any more wrong. I got so much to learn.
I think that's where I lost my way. Thinking I knew it all & not taking any advice or wise words from anyone. I think I'll be more on track if I just commence to be open minded again. I really lost myself. & I remember saying that the only way you would be able to find someone better than me, is to let go of your pain. If I could have followed that advice..... well. Who knows, right? I just know in the most troublesome times, all I longed for was you. Every time I cried, I just wanted to call you. S***** you. See those eyes. & the countless expressions on your face that I cherish. But seriously. The state I'm in, I feel that I relate the most w/you THEN. I mean, I don't know you now. Even if not much has changed. It's been a few months. (Well, more than a few..) A lot has happened. Maybe something's going on now. *laughs* I remember no matter what I was going through, seeing you would make all the pain go away. Perhaps, that's why I drove the distance. Twice. Or whatever, lol.
Then I remember how you wouldn't do the same for me. & I only say that because that's what came out of your mouth. That might have been the first time my heart broke; w/you.
Never mind that pain though. & that could be my naivety talkin' but I just really miss you.
We really are just extremely different. Strong minded people, sure but. So different.
*shrugs* can't win em all though right? & sacrifice builds character. Or some shit like that.
"I'll be here in your new beginnings. & I'll be here in the end."
I'm sorry I lied. I'm sorry I gave up. I'm sorry I left you.
Wild, Jenn. WILD!!!! *laughs* I remember once you became a part of my life, I began to stay up for you. I would be exhausted! But still, I would stay up all night for you. Little do you know, I'm up now for you. Just......
I am gonna try my very best to not hate my life in the morning & when I enter the workplace.
I'm sure I'll wake up thinking why the fuck did I post this.
But I never read these until weeks later anyway so, fuck it.
Reminiscing about you. Yeah, you right. Goodnight.
