Sincerity Meant

I feel more love from my dad than my mom lately. Don't get me wrong. She's reaching out, we've actually been out together a few times. & she's paid. WHAAAAT? Word. But the sincerity. In her eyes. I don't see it. There's something about her eyes that prohibit me from really expressing to her my dreams & my goals. I tell her what she expects me to say. If anything, I'm sure she's reading this now. But since when have I held back on this bitch. Okay, you're right, a few times. Point is, even if she read this, she's not going to want to bond w/me. Not the way I have always wanted her to. Which sucks, but I've dealt w/o her tender care for so long that to me it's just my imagination. As to how it could be w/her. But I'll never know.

Least w/my dad, I know what to expect. He's never sugarcoated anything. Has he forgotten my birthday the last twelve years? Yep. Will he again this year? Most likely. Does he love me? Not more than his dog. (he doesn't have one). But there's love.