"Just Let Go.."

So easy for someone to say those words to you. Could be about anything. I don't know about you but I can't. I must. Just. Feel too much. Care too much. Maybe the fact that I care/feel but I'm not vocal about it is what makes me unique. Because I know how women are. I know how women can get. I understand how our emotions are incredibly overbearing. But I've learned that having time for yourself is so damn important. & I don't mean put the headphones on & do something on your own. I mean really set time for you. No distractions. Think about everything, envision a plan & regroup. That way, I don't have to be so overwhelming for my deserving man. (Come on, you knew this would be about love).

I'm not perfect. I'm full of pain. Most of my pain came at a time in which I refused to deal w/it. & like many, just buried it inside & hoped it would never find a way out. Now that I acknowledge that isn't correct, I think of a painful memory & try to transform it into a seed. For my heart. I need good seeds in my heart. I no longer want to doubt the next man that comes into my life. I don't want to doubt MYSELF anymore. I no longer want to compare this one to that one. I don't want to hold my first marriage accountable for my dying faith.

I want to believe again. I want to be free again.