Loathe to Close
In the last two years, I have changed drastically. I lay here tonight, knowing myself better than I ever have in any other moment in my life.
I remember discussing w/someone how hard my journey on this Earth I feel it will become for me. See, Love, inspires me. I consider it the strongest force I have had the privilege to encounter in so many ways as well as more than once. So I told this person that I long for someone I can rely on. Someone I will give my all to that will keep my mouth shut as far as my expectations go because whomever this man is, will be perfect to me. I have yet to meet this man but I remain hopeful.
Recently, I shared my fears to a friend of mine. He said he was afraid of snakes & though I am too, I named something that couldn't be touched or seen. Being alone. I don't want to end up Alone. I don't appreciate the feeling: loneliness. I get irritated being in a room full of people that I am unable to relate w/because I'm so far ahead of their time. One morning. One day. One evening. One night, I will get the opportunity to have an enlightening conversation w/someone who will bring me insight. It just seems that for now though, my efforts have yet to be seen & my time is being handed off to bullshit. That's what Life is all about though right? Embracing the downs & enjoying the ups while learning as you live & experience as much as you can.
I seize this lonely night while seeing the bigger picture. It's quite fulfilling to look back on the last two years alone & be grateful for the many people no longer sharing my journey. I'm ecstatic of the ones who entered my life & remained for just a short time. Most importantly, I encourage the ones in my life presently, who are able to contact me personally, to feel me. Get to know me. Use my mind. Join me in the understanding of everyone's evolution & acceptance of change. It's a beautiful thing.
Let's question it.
I remember discussing w/someone how hard my journey on this Earth I feel it will become for me. See, Love, inspires me. I consider it the strongest force I have had the privilege to encounter in so many ways as well as more than once. So I told this person that I long for someone I can rely on. Someone I will give my all to that will keep my mouth shut as far as my expectations go because whomever this man is, will be perfect to me. I have yet to meet this man but I remain hopeful.
Recently, I shared my fears to a friend of mine. He said he was afraid of snakes & though I am too, I named something that couldn't be touched or seen. Being alone. I don't want to end up Alone. I don't appreciate the feeling: loneliness. I get irritated being in a room full of people that I am unable to relate w/because I'm so far ahead of their time. One morning. One day. One evening. One night, I will get the opportunity to have an enlightening conversation w/someone who will bring me insight. It just seems that for now though, my efforts have yet to be seen & my time is being handed off to bullshit. That's what Life is all about though right? Embracing the downs & enjoying the ups while learning as you live & experience as much as you can.
I seize this lonely night while seeing the bigger picture. It's quite fulfilling to look back on the last two years alone & be grateful for the many people no longer sharing my journey. I'm ecstatic of the ones who entered my life & remained for just a short time. Most importantly, I encourage the ones in my life presently, who are able to contact me personally, to feel me. Get to know me. Use my mind. Join me in the understanding of everyone's evolution & acceptance of change. It's a beautiful thing.
Let's question it.
