everLAsting

So the other night, I gave the nightlife another chance. Can you already tell where this is heading? Oh man. Music is so terrible in the club. What's worse are the people that are there; including me. For shame I tell you, for shame. I couldn't help but talk mad shit about everyone there & laugh at others. Yo ladies, if any of your toes are longer than your big toe, you need to wear boots, sneakers, chucks, socks, lmao. Ugh! If the inSIDE of your foot got that bone stickin' out that wearin Converse would hurt you, you need ahaha let me stop. Fuckin toe jam of a post this is. Real talk tho..

"If you say 'Real Talk' I prolly won't trust ya."

Yeah thanks Andre.. Real talk, I don't BELONG in those environments. If I'm not hangin' w/my friends, there really is no kind of point for me to be there. Oh that & making money :·) Seein' as how I landed a gig tomorrow night in the dark corner of temptation; we'll see how my hustlin' skills have improved :·X

I'm at a point in my life where I'm desperately seeking knowledge. Where I would like to acquire it with other beings who want to talk to me face to face- that's another thing! Fuck text messaging son!!! Yeah, I go over my minutes every month but still man lol. Can't stand people that want to have a "deep" convo through the celly. Really? You gon ask me somethin' & I call you so I can answer it in its entirety & then you don't pick up but you text me back? Fuck man lol. Nah but I feel you, fools. 'Cause I do that shit too. To be honest. Oh shouts to Ricki for being my pen pal for a couple days then leaving me wondering if you got my email lol.

"While giving Females Effort, I usually Pass them Twice. I'm ahead of their Time: Love, Past, and Life." -Infectious Troy

Did you just read that?

"While giving Females Effort, I usually Pass them Twice. I'm ahead of their Time: Love, Past, and Life." -Infectious Troy

I'm not sure you understand THE EFFECT this statement has. The MEANING that it holds. I relate to this PASSIONately.

• While giving Males EFFORT, I usually pass Them TWICE. I Am ahead of THEIR Time,
• Love, PAST & LIFE!!!

*sigh* I gotta agree w/you Troy; definitely your realest words. & I feel you.

Let's keep it moving w/Insight. Troy quoted Drake, "I'm probably just the Reason that you Learned your Lesson."

Hey.

"I'm probably JUST The REASON that YOU learned YOUR Lesson." -Drake

Are you blown away yet? I'm just sayin'. I can relate to this as most recently as losing the essence of a 10+ yr friendship w/a dude I thought would never do what he did (thanks to alcohol to top it off) & before that the last boyfriend I gave my all to. Those are just two cases of my Life files that this statement can strongly be felt by me.

Keep walkin' with me. Troy also said, "I'm Resisting Change, but if I do, know I did it for all the shit I've Experienced, and it makes me Afraid. I'm Tired of puttin' my Heart in it; G'Nite World."

Catch that?

"I'm Resisting Change, but if I do, know I did it for all the shit I've Experienced, and it makes me Afraid. I'm Tired of puttin' my Heart in it; G'Nite World."

I LOVE THIS MAN. Because I profoundly FEEL him. We're GOOD people. Assholes, of course. But Real. We feel, we share, we discuss, we learn, we live; WE LOVE.

Still to this day, err night, I think of this world. Our world. Yes, ours, no matter the issues, no matter how much good is done for it, how the bad rises, the bad seems to have a closer bond w/attention than good. It's ours. I love this world. I am compassionate & hold sympathy for this world. For this world has suffered & continues to suffer every singe rotation in the universe. More than you & I can handle. What's worse & even more amazing is that this world is still turning no matter what we do to HELP it. I can cry just thinking about tf Man has done to this world. The corruption/lies/torture even we partake in, blindly/sadly/unfortunately. *sigh* It's a lot to think about but for the most part, people are stupid & DON'T think. Then we, kind-hearted souls, wonder why we feel lonely.

Come on, I'm not done.

"Emotions; Interior & Exterior, I Decorate Them." -Troy

Smh.

"Emotions; Interior & Exterior, I Decorate Them." -Troy

After years, he still manages to gently caress my heart. Quote above, seems simple right? DISSECT IT!! Ahh, never-mind.

Since I understand that there are more people in this world that aren't worthy to their own selves, what I don't understand is why I STILL get disappointed as I allow more people in just a bit. I stay open-minded. I stay hopeful. More importantly, I keep in mind what I deserve & God, thank You, for that helps & has helped me so much these last few years. Sure, I've had relationships end & friendships crumble before my eyes but if I didn't hold onto the vision of what I deserve, I'd definitely be worse off. I'd be unappreciative. I'd wake up every day, ungrateful & that just isn't me.

The other day I had a headache, pretty much all day. I read, watched Andrew ride his bike round & round, observed nature, stared at water, analyzed Andrew as he played w/his toys, went to sleep caressing the headache & the next day, woke up smiling. With the same damn headache. I thanked God. For allowing me to FEEL.

"I have a blog. And I'm addicted to telling you as much as possible about me without telling you nothing at all." -shehateme

You know, I write a lot about myself on this here site. & I'm not ashamed or embarrassed of what you read. A lot of my posts are of what I'm feeling at the moment, songs I liked that I probably have never listened again or won't. However, I refuse to delete them from this timeline. This blog contains SO MUCH personal shit, it's truly insane. In the past, a friend said something along the lines of, "I don't know how you're able to share so much of yourself on the internet. I can't do that. I wouldn't know what to say, what to write." I'm not sure why other personal blogs are out there with themes but I am sure about why I have mine still up & running. Because I do this for me. Words, videos, quotes mean something different to me than they will to you. We will see, read, watch things here noticing different things & you may or may not leave here w/an everlasting impression of SOMEthing. What I know is that I understand what goes on here; I allow myself to evolve while holding onto the substance that is me.

"I promise to always give you me, the real me." -Aubrey

I promise. To ALWAYS, give You, me. The REAL Me.

You're welcome.

XO