Love, Where Art Thou?

I had a terrible night at work. I made a lot of money too. But as we all know, money doesn't buy happiness. Just relieves some stress from time to time. Anyway, after I'm done running around, I think about any mistakes I made & what could be corrected. Spoke to an associate about an issue I had, was resolved, then I was alone. My thoughts run WILD & at high speeds. I try to catch them as they come but some slip away like that mosquito that sucked your blood while you were sleep. SMACK! You didn't get 'em & they full, lol. So I got to thinkin'..

In a relationship, as independent as your partner may be, you've gotta be able to rely on the other to BE THERE. To be lifted, to share stories, to hold. Granted there are those like me that don't NEED that every day. I used to, but not anymore. Moving forward, if you have that someone, take advantage of that! If not, loneliness creeps up on you (& in thee most inopportune times don't they!?) & you long for that someone. Someone you look up to. Your Superman. Your Superwoman. Fact is, as humans, there are no Supers. We all have flaws. It's up to you to decide how much you will accept & for how long.

Ahh GLORIOUS unconditional love. I wonder if I will ever feel that for my man. See, I feel that for my young boy but a man I've never. Thought I did, a few times actually, but that's that young mind talkin'. I would like a MAN. Not anytime soon, God knows. But eventually. I deserve one. & I know he's out there. A man that knows his responsibilities & is prepared to take more. Has lots of confidence, is outspoken & loves ALL of me. Understand? ALL of me. My son is part of me. So if he loves ALL of me, it can't possibly take him some more time to get used to the little fella. You love all of me? Oh so you love my son. Good. Don't misunderstand me. I'm not lookin' for another daddy BUT I do believe I come as a package. Two for one deal. & this man must know that my boy comes first. Is that fair? No. (Is life? No.) Is my lovin' that damn good that he'll settle for being second? It is; trust (he won't ever feel like he's second; he'll be that damn grateful for what I do round here!).

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I know what my responsibilities are & yes I can handle them on my own but CONFESSION: I am no superwoman. A woman, nonetheless, but I am not ashamed to admit my needs. My wants. Whom I would like to rely on. My shield has long ago been let go, loving fearlessly, courageously was/is how it will be & (choosing wisely) my man will come along. I know I will continue this journey of mine taking care of myself & others but remember (just like me), that other independent man or woman's needs/wants/desires exist (no matter how strong they claim they are; stubbornness I tell ya) & you may just be what we long for.

Be strong. Take care of yourself. In the end, everything will fall into place.