Just A Tale

As a child, I remember my dad working 6 days a week & my mother the one staying at home taking care of me & any expenses that needed to be taken care of. As many times as my father would tell me that he didn't have it or that he would have more money soon, him & my mother ALWAYS made sure to have money for my school no matter what kind of event it was. Whether it was a field trip, new uniforms, or investments on an extracurricular activity I was interested in. They NEVER failed me.

Now as an adult & more importantly as a parent, I understand. Every month, responsibilities are taken care of & I'm left with not enough for myself. But my boy has everything he needs. Every other month I try to give him what he wants but living with me, he will definitely learn what it means to earn what one has & to be grateful for things money can't buy.
After all, that's what's most important right?

*sigh* I sit & think about my struggles. Things I stress about, I need to let go. The type of person that I am, stubborn/persistent, is not letting me break free just yet.

For example, I bought my MacBook & my mother had to ask me if I was happy. I mean who wouldn't be right? I told her I was. But if you're a mother, even a bad one, you just know about your kids. Know them better than they know themselves.

"I am."
"Pero?"
"I'm just thinking about how-- [interrupted]"
"..how you have less money huh?"
"YES."

See what I mean? Now. Don't misunderstand me. It wasn't like I didn't have enough money & I just made this huge purchase. I had more than enough for it & some. But inside me I began stressing about the future. What DOES my future have to offer? Will I struggle more no matter how hard I work or what I am able to provide?

It gets bad inside my mind.

*screams*

*smiles*

I'll always have it, even when I don't.

-Thanks Dad.