Testing..

The Music Note that accompanied her through the times when she was left all alone, when no one had the time, when everyone else was so fuckin tired of listenin to her rant on and on and on about the bullshit and turmoil and the dreams that sounded like a eutopia that will never be constructed. Won't ever be experienced, the fantasies that flowed consistently from her mouth made them turn their backs and made them wish they had that time back. Nah fuck that. That note. That Note. THAT NOTE!! is there. And will always be there. No matter how many others leave her. She is able to step up and take a seat inside that D.. HER SAFE PLACE TO GO TO! Learned so much while she curled herself and dAVIdA held her tightly.. She misses that spot, for its no longer reserved for her. So its imprinted forevermore so she won't ever forget about this specific safe place, her travels (hint: location of it chosen wisely) because this D was and still (in spirit) walks along beside her.. Whispering: I will always be here.. She just can't hear her.. But she can't help but look down when times get hard, and she sees. And is reminded.. You had to experience that GROWTH and MATURITY as you curled up like a child does.. You've grown and you've matured so now you're on your own. You must act now and no longer sit still. No longer lay down. No more rest. However, so often she is emotionally frazzled that its so easy to just close her eyes, sit down, hug her knees that are pulled up to her chest and bury her face in between her knees and just wonder why she's alone. As she opens her eyes there's "d" to remind her of the beginning stages that made her acquire the skills she has now to hang tightly from that J and rely on her strength to keep her holding on..to the belief that she'd soon be set free from the injustice, from the shadows of the false imprisonment, the chains of the wrongfully accused. Now she's tainted, innocent, so pure, but she walks with a stamp now, so her image has been toyed with.. So she hangs.. Awaiting.. Swing, swing.. Feelin the breeze.. Feeling the free..dom. Dumb. Duuumb. There's no freedom. Freedom isn't supposed to have boundaries. Understood. Meantime, Smile.. Why give that freedom the satisfaction of seeing you frown.. Inside. Inside she's free. She hangs, continues to hang in there.. And she's reaching for that star! She's almost there.

*written February 2008