Confessions
One of the reasons I don't even like females is because they're females. Some of ya'll Dudes know what I'm talkin' bout already and probably won't read anymore past this sentence. I mean, the fuckin' emotions and the talking and the blah to the fuckin' blah. I'm gettin' sick and tired of self yo. And this is why.
Not too long ago, I mentioned me meeting someone and feelin' good about said person but wasn't rushin' into it. Well. This dude. He warmed my heart up. He didn't melt it! Because unfortunately I'm still fully capable of destroying others verbally and even worse without my presence. But he made me feel nice, and he comforted me. He reminded me of what I've been missing for well over a year. Why would he do that when his intentions aren't more then to just go out clubbin' from time to time and may or may not CRAVE to dance with me?!
Don't get this post wrong. This post is not I repeat NOT about me missing dude. It's about missing a companion. Missing having a support system. Someone to hear me out about anything and nothing at all. To give me that boost I need. I wouldn't be askin' for this if my brother or my mom gave me some uplifting words from time to time. Thing is, they don't. No one does.
Most encouraging words I've heard are: You gotta do what you gotta do.
That can pertain to any fuckin' body. And I'm not just anybody. I want someone who specifically knows the shit I go through and to help me carry all this weight. Not by going through it too but by just letting me know, "Jenn. I'm here.I can't do shit about your situation but you go on and vent to me. You can do this. I agree it's good to just not think about a thing and listen to the leaves on the trees with the breeze, meditate. It makes you feel good. I'm all for it."
I don't know.
I know I'm not looking for my soulmate. I'm not looking for "the one." Just someone who cares about me and I equally care about them. Someone who has an equal understanding of what we should sacrifice for eachother effortlessly and with pleasure. One genuine conversation with this someone would fulfill me and keep me happy to a certian degree. I mean, you know us humans, never fuckin' satisfied no matter how good things may seem.
This person can't be a girl either. I'm thinkin' of an attractive male that will fuck me on a mental level. That will have similarities and differences that I will accept and vice versa. Someone I can disagree and discuss with on an intelligent level. Because at the end of the day, I will have so much respect for him, and he will keep me smiling. And I will do the same for him.
Too much to ask?
FYI: I think I have the flu, does anyone know if that shit is goin' around in the LA/San Diego County? I'm not feeling too well and I haven't been for almost two weeks now. Currently rockin' a blue napkin corner inside of my left nostril. This post may not make sense to you but it also may not make sense to me later.
Peace.
Not too long ago, I mentioned me meeting someone and feelin' good about said person but wasn't rushin' into it. Well. This dude. He warmed my heart up. He didn't melt it! Because unfortunately I'm still fully capable of destroying others verbally and even worse without my presence. But he made me feel nice, and he comforted me. He reminded me of what I've been missing for well over a year. Why would he do that when his intentions aren't more then to just go out clubbin' from time to time and may or may not CRAVE to dance with me?!
Don't get this post wrong. This post is not I repeat NOT about me missing dude. It's about missing a companion. Missing having a support system. Someone to hear me out about anything and nothing at all. To give me that boost I need. I wouldn't be askin' for this if my brother or my mom gave me some uplifting words from time to time. Thing is, they don't. No one does.
Most encouraging words I've heard are: You gotta do what you gotta do.
That can pertain to any fuckin' body. And I'm not just anybody. I want someone who specifically knows the shit I go through and to help me carry all this weight. Not by going through it too but by just letting me know, "Jenn. I'm here.I can't do shit about your situation but you go on and vent to me. You can do this. I agree it's good to just not think about a thing and listen to the leaves on the trees with the breeze, meditate. It makes you feel good. I'm all for it."
I don't know.
I know I'm not looking for my soulmate. I'm not looking for "the one." Just someone who cares about me and I equally care about them. Someone who has an equal understanding of what we should sacrifice for eachother effortlessly and with pleasure. One genuine conversation with this someone would fulfill me and keep me happy to a certian degree. I mean, you know us humans, never fuckin' satisfied no matter how good things may seem.
This person can't be a girl either. I'm thinkin' of an attractive male that will fuck me on a mental level. That will have similarities and differences that I will accept and vice versa. Someone I can disagree and discuss with on an intelligent level. Because at the end of the day, I will have so much respect for him, and he will keep me smiling. And I will do the same for him.
Too much to ask?
FYI: I think I have the flu, does anyone know if that shit is goin' around in the LA/San Diego County? I'm not feeling too well and I haven't been for almost two weeks now. Currently rockin' a blue napkin corner inside of my left nostril. This post may not make sense to you but it also may not make sense to me later.
Peace.
