Familiar Strangers
Today I spoke with my estranged husband. Way to start a blog post out huh. Moving forward.
It's been awhile since I talked to him about anything, my preference. The reason being that he never asks about Andrew. He just asks about me and just because I, unfortunately, still carry his last name doesn't mean it's any of his business. Nevermind the fact that I don't trust him with any of my business. So I would avoid that. Or I would answer pertaining to Andrew, not myself. He understood what I was doing and didn't question it. He just eventually stopped calling or stopped texting. Well, today he let me know that he wants Andrew to live with him once again.
History: because he makes a helluva lot more money than I do, our court order is set out as Andrew being with his father Mon-Thurs night and I pick him up Thurs night and drop him off Sunday night. Every week. However, since he never took care of Andrew when we were living together and I had to master my 5minute shower because he had better things to do then watch his son; that's right I said watch because that's exactly what I would have to ask him to do before I showered.
"Could you watch Andrew while I take a shower?"
"How long are you going to be?"
As I was saying, because he always put his cell phone or XBox before our firstborn when the court order was made [March 18], he just let him stay with me. Every day. He occasionally visited him but never a weekend thing. Btw our court order states if he or I allow the other parent more time spent with child, it is fine. It's not a strict Mon-Thurs or Thurs-Sun.
I want Andrew to live with me always but I don't have money like he does and he will use that against me in court and show how he is more than able to take care of him-even though I've done fine as well. He's just going to show how much more he can give and how much more stable his environment is compared to mine. [Need I remind you I am the breadwinner in the family and no one else has a steady job but me].
What are my plans? Thoughts? I think it's fine that he wants to spend time with Andrew. He isn't punishing me. No threats or anything yet. Yes, the word YET is mandatory when referring to him. After all I will still be able to see him, that is, until I change the court order myself by working my ass off and show the court I can have sole custody. I've also been thinking about the Air Force.
O_O
I really want to go back to school. I am unable to go full-time AND have a job that fits my school schedule that would make enough money for a fam of five. AArrrrrgggghhhhh. I got it a helluva lot better then most. That's what I keep telling myself in hopes of making me calm down/feel better. Hasn't worked. Just makes me feel that I'm worth for so much more but there are chains holding me back and each time I think something good is coming along, another chain with industrial strength adhesive is added.
I don't know what to do. I know what to do as far as letting Andrew live with his father. I don't have much of a choice now with the court order and all but that's not an always and forever thing unless I let it be. Which I won't. Ever. But the working, school, military.. I'm just frazzled.
It's been awhile since I talked to him about anything, my preference. The reason being that he never asks about Andrew. He just asks about me and just because I, unfortunately, still carry his last name doesn't mean it's any of his business. Nevermind the fact that I don't trust him with any of my business. So I would avoid that. Or I would answer pertaining to Andrew, not myself. He understood what I was doing and didn't question it. He just eventually stopped calling or stopped texting. Well, today he let me know that he wants Andrew to live with him once again.
History: because he makes a helluva lot more money than I do, our court order is set out as Andrew being with his father Mon-Thurs night and I pick him up Thurs night and drop him off Sunday night. Every week. However, since he never took care of Andrew when we were living together and I had to master my 5minute shower because he had better things to do then watch his son; that's right I said watch because that's exactly what I would have to ask him to do before I showered.
"Could you watch Andrew while I take a shower?"
"How long are you going to be?"
As I was saying, because he always put his cell phone or XBox before our firstborn when the court order was made [March 18], he just let him stay with me. Every day. He occasionally visited him but never a weekend thing. Btw our court order states if he or I allow the other parent more time spent with child, it is fine. It's not a strict Mon-Thurs or Thurs-Sun.
I want Andrew to live with me always but I don't have money like he does and he will use that against me in court and show how he is more than able to take care of him-even though I've done fine as well. He's just going to show how much more he can give and how much more stable his environment is compared to mine. [Need I remind you I am the breadwinner in the family and no one else has a steady job but me].
What are my plans? Thoughts? I think it's fine that he wants to spend time with Andrew. He isn't punishing me. No threats or anything yet. Yes, the word YET is mandatory when referring to him. After all I will still be able to see him, that is, until I change the court order myself by working my ass off and show the court I can have sole custody. I've also been thinking about the Air Force.
O_O
I really want to go back to school. I am unable to go full-time AND have a job that fits my school schedule that would make enough money for a fam of five. AArrrrrgggghhhhh. I got it a helluva lot better then most. That's what I keep telling myself in hopes of making me calm down/feel better. Hasn't worked. Just makes me feel that I'm worth for so much more but there are chains holding me back and each time I think something good is coming along, another chain with industrial strength adhesive is added.
I don't know what to do. I know what to do as far as letting Andrew live with his father. I don't have much of a choice now with the court order and all but that's not an always and forever thing unless I let it be. Which I won't. Ever. But the working, school, military.. I'm just frazzled.
