So Much On My Mind..
I'm not even sure where to start. I've been watching these Olympics from time to time and reading a few of the blogs and one word comes to mind: Amazing. How blessed, humble, and wonderful these people are. I love it. It fills me with ecstasy knowing about the good people. Reading about good things. It's such a breath of positive air, really.
In regards to myself. I'm sure I can describe the way I am but I don't understand why I choose to be the way that I am. There's diff sides of me and no one gets it all because they don't stick around long enough. There's so many people to see, meet, converse with, why wait for me? Because I'm worth it.
I've enjoyed this summer for the simple fact that I've met a lot of different people, with completely different lifestyles. And I needed that. It came just in time. I needed to see, meet, discuss with them so that I could look into my life. Analyze what's different. Why things are the way that they are. Not just that but I opened up to these people. Face-to-face. Spoke to them about different experiences of mine that made me realize why I'm the way that I am. Why I choose to be alone and love myself instead of accepting love from others and embracing it. It's like I don't believe it. So I don't take it nor think twice about it. If they stick with me, and stay there, and even say hello after months of silence I know they truly loved me. As for the few who continue to touch my heart even tough deep down I feel they have forgotten about me.. I know that it is possible to share something special and truly feel something ad then not feel that anymore and simply move on; which is heart crushing. It's a tragic thing. But I can't do anything about that.
The thing is, there's a couple of people. That I no longer speak to. One of them I check up on because I support him so much in everything he does and I love, Love, LOVE the person that he is. When him and I talked often he shared so much insight. And I could never repay him. I'm not sure as to why we don't keep in touch as much but I'm sure it would be easier, if we lived near because souls like us need to be in each other's presence. Least, that's how I feel. The other person I pray and think about often because I've never gotten along so well with anyone in my life as I did with him. I mean shared everything. And he loved me. And I continue to love him.
*sigh*
