God Blessed Our Love

God blessed our love
Even in the mornin' when I rise
I say God blessed our love

And every mornin' when I rise
I can just see heaven' (incomprehensible) in your eyes
It makes me know this is not an everyday love, no, no
We've got something, I'm sure we can be proud of

Oh we've got so much, so much love
We've got so much, so much trust
Can't you see a halo, a halo
I can see a halo hovering over us

And oh, I didn't meant it, baby
But God, blessed our love
I have to say it, (incomprehensible) that
God, oh God, blessed our love

If you've got something to be thankful for
You outta just say, hey
God, blessed our love
I'll have to say this evenin'

God, oh God, blessed our love
I swear he did
Let me say, I could just stand up
And tell the world, oh babe

That you're mine, all mine, all mine
Your love is heavenly, desirable
And I just have to say, I like kissin' you
I like, I like, huggin' you

I like squeezin' you, wanting you
Holding you, loving you
I'm glad, I'm still lovin' you, come on, baby

Let me say that when people, yeah
People yeah start to criticize, it don't bother me
No, no, 'cause I know God, God
God is on our side

You see and let me just say that
God, oh God, blessed our love
God, God, blessed our love
I have to say that
God, blessed our love

-Al Green-

Just the Two of Us

..we can make it if we try.

A while back, I shared what was probably the second worst day of my
life. It was the betrayal of my brother.

Sometimes when I think back to the whole situation I think maybe I'm
over-analyzing or exaggerating a bit. But I remember how I felt. If I
had to describe the pain, I'd say it was like he took a brick & used all
his strength & aimed perfectly at my heart. & the impact still hurts
me.

Sometimes I feel like I feel too much. Type: gargantuan Green Mile man.
Like I'm not supposed to still care. Like this weight is too much. I
can't go on carrying the burden. But I can't stop now. But. Why not?

It's just the way I was made. I have a strong feeling that one of these
days I'm going to surprise myself. Like when many don't know their own
strength. Something drastic will occur. I just know.

In many situations, I know why I still care. I have my reasons. & for
this particular betrayal I haven't stopped caring about him. In fact
every time I see him, my love grows a bit more for him. For 16yrs it was
just him & I.

& though I don't remember spending any time with him his first 5yrs of
life..

& though we fought for the 3yrs after that..

Everything changed when I was 12. He was 8 & sleep at night. I had a
tendency of staring at him as he slept for about 4yrs now. & this was
the first night I didn't have thoughts of hate for him. Thoughts of
killing him weren't running through my mind. Not anymore. I was going to
take care of him. As best I could. Whenever he needed me, he could count
on me.

& so it was decided.

& we've gotten along quite well since then. Complete 180° I'd say
compared to the physical/verbal abuse we put each other through.

I even recall him being mean & noticing that I wasn't punching his
throat anymore. Or calling him bad names. & as confused as he was, he
eventually was on my team.

Which is why that night stays on my mind. That night he told me what
I've done, what I've said or want to say doesn't & hasn't mattered.

If you've ever genuinely loved someone & done a lot for them, you'll
know that their words hurt. As much as you try to tell yourself that you
don't care, fuck 'em, their loss, oh well..

(Their) Words hurt.

Watch what you say. Especially to me.

My feelings can be exuberantly reserved & my actions can display a
heartless bitch. Trust.

They commend me for not being able to know how I feel unless they ask.
Yep. They. Ask about me.

Actually, don't. I owe some people money.

Shouts to the small world.

*picture displayed: Carlos & I as youngstas.

The Life

What makes a person want to smoke? Want to drink? Want to do drugs? It
can't JUST be curiosity. I mean, a lot of the time, new users know the
consequences/effects that taking drugs can cause & yet.. It doesn't stop
them.

When do you know when enough is enough? If ever.

I asked a friend of mine what bottles/liquor would he like in his casket
when he's dead. He provided a list, I made a note of it.

Is that bad?

What would you like to have with you while you rot underground?

20 Days Ago

I was fortunate enough to be able to see Tabi Bonney, Mickey Factz,
Mystik Journeymen, Eyedea & Abilities, Psycho Realm, Slum Village,
Slaughterhouse, Dilated Peoples w/Fashawn, KRS-One w/Buckshot, Tech
N9ne, Reflection Eternal, Big Boi Slick Rick, The Roots, Nas & Damian
Marley and Ice cube perform.

Maybe next time Short Dawg, Sage Fran & B. Dolan, Necro, MOP, RZA, DJ
Abomb, DJ Sleeper, Mark Luv, DJ Dstrkt, DJ Mr Mike, Icey Ice, Abel, The
Knux, (♥) Chali 2na (♥), Raekwon, House of Pain/La Coka & Busta
Rhymes. Or not.

*ROCK THE BELLS 2009; I have mad pictures but. Who doesn't?
*Top acts in my opinion were:
1) The Roots
2) Ice Cube
3) Damian Marley
Yes, in that order.
*Really enjoyed Mickey Factz set too. Shouts to Brooklyn.

"I'm from L dot A dot." -MURS

Chicago Skyline

c.1928

Go

Now I ain't got much, just a lil bucket
Nah, I aint ballin', shit I could be frontin' & talkin' like its
nothin'
For me to spend cheese, flossin' like I got it
But that ain't what I'm droppin' girl; I'm just tryin to go.
Maybe we could get a bite to eat or we can coast
PCH, a vacay, I can't wait, girl
Hop on in so we can ride with the windows down

My whip ain't equipped with butterfly doors
Stereo may not even play your cd's
& the rims ain't gonna spin when we stop, babe
But I swear we'll get where we wanna be

I understand that my plan ain't perfect, babe
I don't know where we'll go, I don't care
'Cause just as long as we're together I don't ever have to worry about a
thing
'Cause I'm sure that our love can get us there

'Cause I just want to be with you
& I don't care what they say
We can run to the sun & forget this place
But they'll only tear us down if we stay

So let's go.. Baby hop in.
Let's smash at the gas, no stoppin'
To a place where our love can run free
Tank full of gas, pocket full of cash
Windows down & radio on blast
Baby, just you & me.

[TiRon rappin' something irrelevant to how I'm feelin' lol (except for
the "Chi fitted" part 'cause I'm currently on my wayyy to the Chi !!)]

& if they ask, we won't say a word
We'll speed off & laugh as we flip the bird
I don't give a damn, they don't understand
Baby, take my hand & don't look back

*Baby, just you & me.

-Miguel & TiRon-

Undeserved Tribute

As a child, my mother showed me unconditional love. She showed me she was on my side up until I was 4 and a half I'd say. See that's when my brother was born. Up until then, I was even accompanied to kindergarden every single day. I remember parts of my preschool days, all without her. Anyway, due to my parents getting it on again, enter: Carlos. During his youngest years, I was shown betrayal & hatred.

My love is incredible. I just know. I wasn't

taught. More often than not, I was shown

how love has been abused & I had to

figure out for myself what was wrong

& what was right. I still do.

This lady is the best friend I'll always have but she's almost the worst mother at times. It hurts me so much to say that. Let alone, share. [Reminder to self: only two people a month check this shit, but still.] There are many examples I can give that I won't disclose because this is her life & not mine. Though it involves me & it has affected the way that I am as well as the decisions I make, it still isn't fair. What makes me thee' most angriest is how much I care. & in turn, what pains me the most is how much she does not. I just know that I won't ever abandon her like she did me twice (in more ways than one). I was told by an old friend that I should be able to talk to her about it but truth is, it will just be one angry crying fest. & I just rather not put myself through that. Sometimes holding everything in is a good idea. LOL.

All jokes aside, her & I have MANY similarities. I'm sure I won't be able to think of them all now but I'm sure I can think of a few. Let's see. *puts thinking cap on*

1. As teenagers, we were independent & lived w/o parental supervision.
2. At age 19, we had a child.
3. The 1st man we chose to settle down for led to a failed marriage.
4. Our favorite flower is the Sunflower.
5. We love art as much as we love the beach & music. [okay, maybe this one doesn't count, though true.]
6. We're wise beyond our years yet won't take our own advice.
7. We've allowed ourselves to be in abusive relationship(s).
   

There's more, trust me. I catch them at random times & never write them down. Anyway, I have my reasons for the things I still plan to do for her. Those that know me think I'm giving her too much credit & she doesn't deserve what I already do for her but I mean. She's my mom. She provided a memory such as being 8 years young & her yelling at me telling me I was a mistake & she hated me. That I ruined her life.

But she's my mom. That's all I have to say. & that makes me difficult to understand when there's so many small things that others have done & can do that will make me turn my back & never look back. I don't know. It's just the way that I am. Who knows what the future holds for me.

I thank her for the reason I am the way that I am.

Mostly, I thank myself.

Floss Angeles

Best gift I received for my birthday. An iPod shuffle. Simple right? If it had no value whatsoever, having Floss Angeles engraved gave it colossal worth.

"The things we do for Love."

Twitter & Facebook Systems Failure

Course, I checked Twitter today & the web wasn't displaying the page..
Good ol' Expressive Frontier calmed my nerves with this email. Tragic,
really :-)

-----Original Message-----
Subject: Twitter & Facebook Systems Failure
Date: Thu, 6 Aug 2009 10:05:28 -0400

Greetings,

Twitter and Facebook are down, just a heads up for all you social
marketers out there. Global internet glitch? Check out the update here:
EF Lifestyle
(http://www.eflifestyle.com/2009/08/twitter-facebook-system-failure.html)
--
DCBG
(323) 639 - 0513
dcbg@expressivefrontier.com
www.twitter.com/DC_BG

Expressive Frontier™
What lifestyle are you living?
www.EFLifestyle.com
http://twitter.com/EFLifestyle

A New Love

Just when I thought my world couldn't get any better
Along comes a new love
Gotta be the luckiest person on the face of this Earth

Yo, it felt like a dream
A wounded angel fell down at my feet
Face of a goddess, clothes of a queen
Laying unconscious, broken wings
She was like a sleeping beauty
All she needs is Prince Charming to complete the movie
The dudes in her past used to treat her rudely
But me & her are perfect to be some shoe-strings
You know, tie the knot
But first, we gotta kick it & spend time a lot
Before we get to that point where the aisle is walked
Or that bouquet is thrown up in the sky & dropped
For those that are lost, she wasn't really wounded
It's just an analogy I was using

She is perfect in every sense of the word
A new love I probably don't deserve

I am trying to find the best way to describe
This feeling that keeps my cup filled up to the top
It's a new love
A feeling I have refilled
A new love

I mean, she's so
So amazing
Like she's unreal

I hate playing games but she deserves to be chased
Her smile is like the pearliest gates
Love when she wears her hair curly or straight
Her life's glamorous like Fergie on stage
But I don't like black eyed peas I mean the food, not the group
Even though she gets Emerald x's two
Add a little tablespoon of an Iron Chef
She can make seared ahi I'm impressed
She is one of a kind, to have her, I am blessed
I will love her past the moment of my final breath
I will love her for all of eternity
'Cause I am loved by her more than I deserve to be
She showed patience when learning me
Anyone else surely would have deserted me

She is perfect in every sense of the word
A new love I am working hard to deserve

The present is a gift
I mean, it's not many words in the human language
That can describe the feeling that I have for you
A new love

-Convinced

U4Got4U

*listening' to Jelani

I wonder how soon do you let the world know about your love, a new love,
in your life? Is the man or the woman the first to sahre w/friends,
family..? Do you share at all? If it's too soon, should you wait? I
mean, even the longest relationships end sooner or later. Then one feels
stupid for sharing. Or if one shares but the other remains private.

I like to think whether I'm involved or not, I'm vulnerable in that
department. I like love stories, romantic movies & I pay close attention
to the love that's in the air. However, my stubborn side likes to make
sure I don't let that side of me consume me. Those emotions man, can
kill you. Make the best of you. Cause your own misery/pain, even. But if
you allow it....

It can be the greatest love story.

Feels even better when it's shared between just the both of you no
matter how much you feel like screaming from a mountain top,

"I LOVE _______!"

Heartbreak is something else though. By default, you want to keep it to
yourself. Why share your weaknesses? Not all people are good & a lot of
'em just want to take advantage of you. Life is really a game. & one
with most strategy survives the longest.

Live life, share your victories, triumphs, achievements & even failures.
Just remember to continue moving forward. You owe it to yourself.

Lovin' My Little Fam

We're not much but my brother Carlos & I, we're some kind of wonderful.

*Pictured: My right hand/Andrew/Carlos' left hand/feet.

Look At Me

I finally found the right girl
Someone that I can spend my life with
Spend my nights with, share my life with

Look at me, look at me, I'm so happy

The preacher's saying she's my girl
I'm saying, "I do" for the rest of my life
And I think it's so nice she's gonna be my wife

Look at me, can't you see I'm beaming all over

Joy of love is in the air
And love has blossomed around us, it's everywhere
Oh, how happy you have made me
Let's stay together until eternity, hey...

Look at me, look at me, can't you see I'm so happy

Can't you see, can't you see I'm so happy

Ooh, I'm in love
Look at me, I'm in love

*The Moments